Farrago fatigans!

- Thuffering thuccotash!

Okay, so I did it. I was the guilty party. I jammed the kitchen drains on Christmas Eve.

We had a crowd over for dinner, and Mary had made great Scampi with Angel Hair Pasta. The pasta was my downfall. We had cooked way too much of the pasta, and seeing that it had gummed together I made the Executive decision to grind it down the disposal.

It actually went right on through the disposal without a hitch - but the problem came deep in the bowels of the drains, where it apparently grabbed on and began to swell, forming a massive concrete-like clot that backed up into the sink.

Given the fact we still had a houseful of guests I did what every responsible homeowner would do - I gave it a shot of Liquid Plumber and turned off the lights.

Obviously the liquid Plumber was no match - all it did was anger the clot and make the kitchen smell like a toxic waste site. I began to image the swelling clog oozing up into the kitchen, gripping the sink and devouring guests who came close to drop off a glass or plate. There was an occasional burp, like a scene of the La Brea Tar pits swallowing a fallen dinosaur.

Fortunately the drain from the kitchen is separate from the bathrooms so the problem did not take an even uglier turn. Of course to have it repaired would mean a visit from the Roto-Rooter man, with whom we are now on a first-name basis. It was not until this morning, however that we were able to get the mess undone, meaning that Christmas Dinner has had to be postponed as we did not want to make a big mess that could not be cleaned up.

And as I said at the beginning, I alone am to blame. I should have instructed a guest to do the deed, so that I could have shifted the responsibility. Note to self; Throw away excess pasta- do not put into the Garbage Disposal. Pasta is evil.